I have no trouble accepting that due to various mechanisms, different bodies will get a different amount of energy out of the same food input, and that different processes in the body might modulate how much energy is expended throughout the day with the same activity level.
What I have trouble understanding is how normal, otherwise healthy people could have what would have to be a substantially lower requirement for food input than others in order to not lose weight over long term at e.g. 1500-1800 calories in nutritious and non-ultraprocessed food a day for an average height and moderately active man.
1800 would be within the normal recommended range for an active woman in Norway, just for reference. Our new dietary guidelines are a bit higher, based on a maintenance of a person with a BMI of 23, I think it was 8 megajoule for women and 11 for men.
And as you suggested earlier, people are terrible at guesstimating their intake. And the formulas used to calculate energy requirements/usage aren’t necessarily very good either (one that is very much in use is known to overestimate requirements by a significant amount as the population used to create it was ~70% young males). When training as a dietitian we used numerous methods to calculate energy needs, and mine varied by ~200 kcal, someone taller and/or heavier than me would likely see more of a difference). For that matter, you don’t just have to guestimate intake, but also what the food contains. Food composition datatables are not always correct. A common fallacy is equating «healthy» with «low calorie», this can get really problematic for a low calorie diet when applied to nuts and seeds which are generally healthy but high calorie foods.
As mentioned by others some do all the right things and still don’t lose weight. It’s complex. What do you do when your patient is bedridden, but gaining weight at an intake of ~1000kcal? And you know this is their intake as they are unable to eat anything besides what is given to them. It gets extremely difficult to meet requirements for non-energy nutrients (these are sadly often overlooked and everything ends up being about calories..) I have no problem believing some bodies are more adept at absorbing energy from foods, and our metabolism can be different, and for some there are likely more than one cause behind easy weight gain. But going on a very low calorie diet to lose weight is not necessarily healthy either. One can supplement certain nutrients, but not all beneficial compounds in food can be supplemented.
I don’t like the «have tried everything» arguments though, «everything» is a very loose term. One patient I met had «tried everything» but was adamant they had never heard of calorie tracking/looking at what they were ingesting and calculating intake. Another had «tried everything» but done so in two weeks which is never going to work. And similar to how some people are secret eaters, many who claim to «eat everything» skip meals or have other behaviors so that their actual intake when analysed is well within their energy budget.