It is still an abdication of moral duty and responsibility not to provide that funding and then blaming patients for the consequences of their failing.
This seems to be a circular argument, research is not done so healthcare is not available leading to a bait and switch to make patients responsible for their own harms and consequences of choices they did not make but were inflicted upon them.
None of this is ok and as citizens we should be demanding better. The question is how? Especially given the toll that ME takes.
A place we can start is rewriting these narratives that if we just practice the right wellness behaviors we can cure ourselves or reduce our expectations as to what a meaningful life could and should be. We need to push back on it and put responsibility back where it lies.
And as if pwme are allowed to have anything without being targeted to ensure we are kept above our threshold and can’t access tools lest ‘we become dependent on them’ and being trapped unable to do things so we rot and others being nasty supposedly not harm to make us worse but 'incentivise us' by it being so horrible to 'lazarus', hence why they still think they can claim ‘trying to help’ whilst having made the same person another 10% iller as per the 4,000 times before when they tried ‘being cruel’ and still won’t take responsibility and let the person free from the undermining.
It is the words and that self-deception that needs to be called out so they look in the mirror and realise they’ve just been a disability bigot and bully who harmed and there never was some healing anyone thought would come from it they just couldn’t admit being driven by that bigotry, certainly by this many years of outdatedness on. They currently get to tie their words in knots still pretend there is good inside them and the failure resulting from something imposed and coerced into the person is somehow that of the victim of said imposition.
I’m partly putting here as I’m not well enough to think up the full post to start a thread on it and hoping others will have observed similar and get the issue and suggestions
And partly because we need this deliberate darvo type training into culture via certain services to have simple terms pointed out for them. Maybe on the odd occasion these were invented for they are real but I suspect most of what they are used for isn’t. So it’s half documenting what’s actually happening and the natural impact/harm and half just calling out what others just see as obvious.
I think we should and can ask the ‘what do you think you are doing?’ And ‘you do realise what this actually does to the person in x, y, z situation’ without that always getting overshadowed by their excuses and needs rather than a realisation ‘it’s not working like they thought’. stop doing the action. Stop then double-harming the person because of need to rewrite history to justify the in truth unjustifiable now we know the result.
But I saw a reel where it was a teacher talking about an incident. One that didn’t end well for any of them so you’d think they’d be questioning the advice and protocols they’d been doing, but no. And I was gobsmacked at the extent of the invalidating passive aggressive potentially language and teens used to potentially remove/change how ‘what they were seeing’ was seen as.
It started of with saying the student was ‘dysregukated’ which to me I hate as a catch-all term so that they don’t have to say upset/angry or a specific and therefore don’t have to think ‘what happened to little Johnny’ and then ‘what would the old days common sense kind/normal thing to do be?’ .
It’s invalidating that there could be a proportionate cause and hearing that is the first step. Instead assume ‘gone mad for no reason’ so the victim gets blamed and nothing gets sorted other than teach the victim to stay silent and eat their emotions and behave. It could be autism where quiet rather than loads of people is needed for them to have a chance to not be overloaded. It’s likely both (as neurodivergent or ill people get bullied or treated unkindly too).
Because I’d imagine it’s hearing if they’ve just had someone being horrible to them. And refusing to hear that and instead calling the person crying ‘the problem’ is antagonism and injustice and invalidation and telling them they don’t matter ‘other than weasel words about sorting their behaviour with bs pretence feigning care for their emotional state but not what’s happened and dealing with that as one should’
There was then lots of talk about their tools and toolbox. And noting how the above to me is then not realising they are being weaponised by an ideology and not ‘being enabled to deal with’ I’ve increasingly been thinking lately that the term ‘tool’ for eg therapists and allied and professions such as teachers where these ideologies are really being used to embed a new culture is actually being used to sell these little ‘weapons’ and wind-up tricks as if they help the other person.
In this case she talked about ‘fresh faces’ or something where they obviously had a team of people in there with this one person (intimidating in itself?) and thought swapping it for a new team ‘might calm it’. I mean what actual trying to help real scientific psychology is this? It’s not. It’s surely some tailored riot control /mental hospital level advice assuming the worst of the person who might merely have had bad news or just been bullied themselves.
Anyway just hearing the whole thing upset me as I know this kind if language goes on - I heard a teacher friend talking with her other friend about their own child. And he’d just been treated really unfairly by both parents who were in a custody battle and disliked each other so they drove him off to his counselling appointment and said ‘he needs some time to calm first as he’s dysregulated’. Nice way of them not taking responsibility for ‘poor kid he’s upset as he’s just unfairly had a mouthful for no reason from both of us ‘ instead pretending he can’t regulate his emotions.
No one is supposed to be able to take being trapped in that on the chin. And using weasel terms to confuse what’s happen and hide ‘who started it’ knowing kids don’t have the experience or words to say it’s others playing games and being manipulative is naughty. But made worse by bystanders who used to be supposed to stop the problem (not the reaction) also being manipulative.
I had a nurse the other day try and make me do certain breathing simply because I’d said my blood pressure is higher when I’ve had to sit up a long time and exerted for an appointment due to my health condition. This imposition felt like a weapon/also in the face/power play she’d been taught to do as if it would de escalate rather than be being unnecessarily rude and coercive. She was taught to shut me up. I’m fed up of it. Way to take someone who is already on best behaviour and turn them into feeling annoyed. And they are paid for this out hand over my mouth bs. Ps I wasn’t over breathing and had someone with me who confirms that and even they knew it was just ‘a move’.
Using fake psych/medicine to achieve other ends no matter how small a liberty they think it is isn’t ok , people aren’t crowd management and given what they’ve put someone of us through by this crap many times a day for decades then such aggressions still being seen as nothing really shocks me. People need to start to realise how much of a weapon their mouthing made up things without critical thinking splitting off vs isn’t just chit-chat but in a discourse analysis ‘being used’ in a way that’s the opposite of health or mental health.
That one was theoretically small fry but it wasn’t funny or ok and made me think they aren’t taught tools but weapons they can get away with using for reasons that are nothing to do with the interests of the patient or healthcare.
