Arnie Pye
Senior Member (Voting Rights)
Warning - This is just a massive rant and a major whinge.
I've had sleeping problems for close to 50 years. School, university and work were years when I was almost permanently sleep-deprived, struggling to wake up because I usually slept from about 4am (if I was lucky), and then had to get up 2 or 3 hours later. I would struggle to stay awake all day, then evening would come, "sensible" bedtime would approach, and then *ping!* I would finally wake up, be alert, and want to do things.
People would tell me if I kept going to bed at a "sensible" time and forcing myself out of bed at a "respectable" time then eventually I would want to sleep at a respectable time. This, as far as I am concerned, is a myth put about by early risers, parents, and doctors. It was never true for me.
When I was a child my parents were determined that I was going to sleep like sensible, respectable people. I was sent to bed at 9pm - 9.30pm every night (until I left home at the earliest opportunity). My sister (who I shared a bedroom with) would go nuts if I put a bedside light on to allow me to read. My parents would go nuts too, if they saw a light on under the door. So I would go to bed every evening, and then spend up to 6 hours just lying in bed, going absolutely crazy with boredom. I remember how painful it used to be, just lying in bed for so long, in the dark, with absolutely bugger all to do. I hated going to bed every night because I associated it with boredom, misery, depression, and pain. And this went on year after year after year.
When I was at university, and lived away from home, I had my first ever opportunity to sleep when I wanted to (at least for some of the time). I discovered that, left to my own devices, I could sleep for 18 hours on the trot without waking up once. Then I might stay awake for 6 hours or so then sleep for another 18 hours. Then I might stay awake for 2 or 3 days without sleeping at all, then the cycle would repeat. Over time these extremes did reduce a bit, but even now, most of the time my body naturally seems to want me to be nocturnal.
Working was a constant nightmare. The number of sadists there are in the working population is incredible. So many people want to have meetings at 7.30am or 8am in the morning. Why? What's wrong with 3pm, when both early risers and late risers are more likely to be awake?
But of course, anyone whose sleeping habits make them naturally late risers is considered to be the lowest of the low. I'm assumed to be lazy scum. My sleeping habits are assumed to be a choice!
Why the hell would I choose to be the way I am? Why would I want to sleep during the day, and stay awake at night when it makes my life so difficult and miserable?
There is also a common belief that I have come across in connection with sleepers like me. People assume that I'm lying in bed awake and doing nothing. They assume anyone who is in bed at 10am or noon must be awake and must be choosing to stay there. I HATE lying in bed and doing nothing. I had to do it for many years as a child and it is PAINFUL! As a general rule of thumb throughout my life, once I wake up I get up. If I'm awake I struggle to stay in bed even when, for health reasons, it would be to my advantage to stay there. Anyone who has to stay in bed because they are too ill to get up has all my sympathy.
So, bringing this all up-to-date, I had a respiratory infection or flu or something like that which started at the New Year and I'm still coughing now. I had been doing reasonably well with my sleep during November/December, but since being ill my sleep has been disturbed and I'm almost wholly nocturnal again.
I hate being nocturnal and always have done, but the older I get the more I hate it. It's January, it's winter, it's dark, it's the middle of the night, the heating isn't on, the house is very cold, there's nothing to do apart from really, really quiet things that won't disturb my husband or the neighbours. I have nobody to talk to and I'm lonely. I won't go out at this time of night. Where would I go? Tesco? What fun.
I've decided to do something I've done with some success before... I am going to stay awake a little bit later every day, until I eventually want to sleep at 10pm or 11pm. Then I will have to start using rigid discipline to make sure I continue to go to bed at the same time. Something always happens to disturb this plan eventually, but I'll keep it up as long as I can.
Today I slept from roughly noon to 8pm, so I still have to move my sleeping hours quite a bit. With luck I will have achieved this within about two weeks.
/end rant
I've had sleeping problems for close to 50 years. School, university and work were years when I was almost permanently sleep-deprived, struggling to wake up because I usually slept from about 4am (if I was lucky), and then had to get up 2 or 3 hours later. I would struggle to stay awake all day, then evening would come, "sensible" bedtime would approach, and then *ping!* I would finally wake up, be alert, and want to do things.
People would tell me if I kept going to bed at a "sensible" time and forcing myself out of bed at a "respectable" time then eventually I would want to sleep at a respectable time. This, as far as I am concerned, is a myth put about by early risers, parents, and doctors. It was never true for me.
When I was a child my parents were determined that I was going to sleep like sensible, respectable people. I was sent to bed at 9pm - 9.30pm every night (until I left home at the earliest opportunity). My sister (who I shared a bedroom with) would go nuts if I put a bedside light on to allow me to read. My parents would go nuts too, if they saw a light on under the door. So I would go to bed every evening, and then spend up to 6 hours just lying in bed, going absolutely crazy with boredom. I remember how painful it used to be, just lying in bed for so long, in the dark, with absolutely bugger all to do. I hated going to bed every night because I associated it with boredom, misery, depression, and pain. And this went on year after year after year.
When I was at university, and lived away from home, I had my first ever opportunity to sleep when I wanted to (at least for some of the time). I discovered that, left to my own devices, I could sleep for 18 hours on the trot without waking up once. Then I might stay awake for 6 hours or so then sleep for another 18 hours. Then I might stay awake for 2 or 3 days without sleeping at all, then the cycle would repeat. Over time these extremes did reduce a bit, but even now, most of the time my body naturally seems to want me to be nocturnal.
Working was a constant nightmare. The number of sadists there are in the working population is incredible. So many people want to have meetings at 7.30am or 8am in the morning. Why? What's wrong with 3pm, when both early risers and late risers are more likely to be awake?
But of course, anyone whose sleeping habits make them naturally late risers is considered to be the lowest of the low. I'm assumed to be lazy scum. My sleeping habits are assumed to be a choice!
Why the hell would I choose to be the way I am? Why would I want to sleep during the day, and stay awake at night when it makes my life so difficult and miserable?
There is also a common belief that I have come across in connection with sleepers like me. People assume that I'm lying in bed awake and doing nothing. They assume anyone who is in bed at 10am or noon must be awake and must be choosing to stay there. I HATE lying in bed and doing nothing. I had to do it for many years as a child and it is PAINFUL! As a general rule of thumb throughout my life, once I wake up I get up. If I'm awake I struggle to stay in bed even when, for health reasons, it would be to my advantage to stay there. Anyone who has to stay in bed because they are too ill to get up has all my sympathy.
So, bringing this all up-to-date, I had a respiratory infection or flu or something like that which started at the New Year and I'm still coughing now. I had been doing reasonably well with my sleep during November/December, but since being ill my sleep has been disturbed and I'm almost wholly nocturnal again.
I hate being nocturnal and always have done, but the older I get the more I hate it. It's January, it's winter, it's dark, it's the middle of the night, the heating isn't on, the house is very cold, there's nothing to do apart from really, really quiet things that won't disturb my husband or the neighbours. I have nobody to talk to and I'm lonely. I won't go out at this time of night. Where would I go? Tesco? What fun.
I've decided to do something I've done with some success before... I am going to stay awake a little bit later every day, until I eventually want to sleep at 10pm or 11pm. Then I will have to start using rigid discipline to make sure I continue to go to bed at the same time. Something always happens to disturb this plan eventually, but I'll keep it up as long as I can.
Today I slept from roughly noon to 8pm, so I still have to move my sleeping hours quite a bit. With luck I will have achieved this within about two weeks.
/end rant
Maureen Hanson @DrMaureenHanson
