Observations from observing , listening and hand holding.
PEM is not fatigue. Every molecule in your body wants to give up.
PEM is akin to being poisoned
PEM is being trapped in a body which won't obey commands and nothing you can do can alter this. The lack.of control is truly frightening. The fear that it may not pass and ths could be the new normal .
PEM is when normal gets worse and other symptoms manifest . It's your personalised torture with no definite timeframe.
PEM is when your body is a warehouse and someone is switching the lights off bay by bay without your consent and you don't know if they will all go out. You brace yourself for eternal darkness.
PEM is wanting to say something , but your brain and mouth are having a standoff. In a world where understanding is verbal , you can't convey what's truly happening to you.
PEM is feeling like you are upside down, all the blood is rushing to your head and you can't flip the other way up.
PEM is when your limbs are lead and you cannot make them move. It's almost stroke like.
PEM is when your eyes don't work , they don't focus, peripheral tracking is off, you feel "off" , as if you are reeling , you want to hold on, to brace against tilting over- but you are lying down.
PEM induces so many different types of pain in so many different places .
From the Trotsky-esque icepick through the eye , to burning muscles, coat hanger pain , cramps, stiffness, tendons tightening .
Jaw feeling misaligned ,the joint so tight you can't open your mouth much.
Nausea killing the appetite.
The wish to be Mr Potato head and have the ability to take off your head and realign it , as if that would lessen the strain and pressure, the thumping , the heat - head feels so hot inside .
Closed eyes feel as though there's a pressure against which they strain to open lids .
Itchiness , a crawly under the skin itchiness that's like Chinese water torture or a strange sci-fi movie where you expect something to be living under your skin.
Freezing bones
Hips " off" , no comfort to be had lying down , and no means to not lie down. ( Usually tendon issues)
Pelvic floor so taut you couldn't pass anything if you could get to the loo.
The cognitive soup of brain fog. Something Parkinsonian about this .
PEM is not fatigue .