I hear you, the situation you describe in your post is very difficult and painful for patients and a demonstration how the hallmark linguistic trickery of the neo-psychosomatic movement isolates patients from possible help from outsiders, making them look like they're overreacting while the movement simultaneously stigmatizes them as unreliable witnesses - it's a total abusive move.
That being said, I think a more correct description would be that there are people who don't understand (nor listen) because they use the motte version of biopsychosocial. Because "biopsychosocial" is used as a motte-and-bailey term.
It was buzzing around somewhat before 1977, but it got "properly" launched and determined by Freudian fanboy and psychosomatic enthousiast George Engel (as "the biopsychosocial model"), and he absolutely meant the bailey of psychobehavioural & psychosomatic with that term. Just because it got sold as meaning the "softer" and in essence ok motte version (in general considering social & socio-economic circumstances, behaviour & mental health as elements influencing life quality and illness management for patients is not a bad thing) does not mean it doesn't actually mean - or isn't actually meant to facilitate the acceptatence of - the hostile-to-the-biomedical-model bailey, psychosomatic ideology, which pseudo-justifies "treatments" like CBT.
So imo it is not a case that bps "should be used" in the motte way, just that a lot of health care workers believe, or say they believe (the motte-and-bailey fallacy can make it seem internally justifiable as well of course), this is what it means.
I have no solution for this situation yet; ideally the two -motte and bailey- will be clearly separated, the motte getting a new term while it is made clear that there's no room for psychosomatic ideology in its definition.