For various reasons we’ve always had to waste our energy assuming or giving good grace that intentions are good or that what someone does and how they act to us somehow isn’t exactly an indicator of what they want for us.
But I’ve got to the point now where I feel like I need to wear a body cam if I interact with these type of people and record all conversations.
Because I’ll be frank whether they are the ones writing it to cause it by others or doing it then using this to claim that what I’m not getting the vibes back they are secretly proud of as eg departments instead of ashamed: harming us and we for some reason assume that isn’t the aim of these groups to play their part in this big chain if blocking access and watching a human being get crumbled , merely because we aren’t ourselves evil people and are too kind to these individuals within this system.
I’ve engaged with good grace with certain types and got what I should have just realised was obvious whiff of nasty bigot but assumed they are just confused when really all these documents are is instructions manuals for these groups of people to continue doing the same - and I’ve never experienced malign, irrationally driven behaviour like it - but to cover it up more as ‘policy’ so that on top of being harmed we get accused as paranoid fibbers if we even gently suggest what they are doing isn’t ’being Good people trying to help’.
But they aren’t and I’ve tried open-mindedly with support going thru the rational processes for basic things with these people and they are just playing nasty games where they do indeed see exactly how ill and collapsing I am. and there is normally one person there who has been dragged along, perhaps more junior for that meeting, clearly told laugh at us nonsense about us before the meeting and then within minutes realises they have been stitched up by who they are accompanying and their boss to be a henchman and the person in front of them is actually ill and legitimate and I see their awkwardness or they’ve been asked to do something watch the consequences then spend the rest of the time profusely apologising whilst the other carries on as intended, hard to it all.
So whilst I’m being gaslighted by most around me including many who think themselves advocates in some way I’ve luckily had enough people with me this time who have at least been honest on what they’ve seen or found when they interacted so I know it isn’t just me, like those other people in or adjacent to the system want to kid themselves. I get one bunch trying to pretend no, no it’s not that they have bad intentions or have decided it’s no from the start and then guff pretending the strange pattern of deliberate cherry-picking , misinterpretation and predatory leading questions is somehow my confusion still trying to force me to say that’s not what is going on.
And it’s at the point of driving me insane because that’s despite 25yrs flags and me being over nice trying to think how those flags could just be normal confusion or someone in a rush when that becomes more of a stretch. But it’s my responsibility to do that for me to not get in trouble to somehow cover up for them , the bad ones, even when they need calling out and just need to act normal to speed things up and make it make sense.
They aren’t following normal process but inventing new questions for example, writing reports without having asked the questions of the person first then refusing to change it but using those to steal more information from people when they have to line by line refute the made-up fabricated lies.
I can’t believe how serious the problem is on the ground with those who are ‘in it’. It’s upset their colleagues who didn’t realise what they’ve seen were getting dragged into bullying level. And I knew from all the years how bad the bigotry on the ground is.
I’d suggest this is a potentially a document whose purpose is merely to legally justify or provide cover for the extreme harm some are doing in a joined up way already anyway. Behaviour they don’t want to change and do reacted to the last 4-5yrs simply with no intention to change and in fact ramping up their anger at having been called out by the guideline and taking it out on the most vulnerable of pwme in retaliation
And when I go back to the White,sharpe, Chalder article from Dec 2021 published (with a version written in oct 2021 and published on the kings website) I’d be interested to see if the same message of
‘what should be enacted upon us’ is any different at all .
But I think the ‘guff’ is deliberate long ramble so that no one will read it, no one can prove it doesn’t square any of its circles or non sequiturs. The point is for no one to understand and for it to grammatically not add up so that most assume they can’t understand it not due to this deficiency in the writer or ideology but themselves ‘not getting it because they aren’t experts’ . It’s intended to intimidate by being unreadable.
It no longer matters whether its deliberate because they are deluded and think for some reason they aren't immoral and harmful, just selfish, or if it is plain malign - but people need to begin stopping hurting us by insisting that whilst it is by this stage one or the other that we have to stick with the one illusion that the behaviour doesn't add up to which is that it is neither. We don't have to say either out loud, but we absolutely do have to stop harming pwme by insisting that underlying (maybe unconscious, maybe they are so deluded they don't realise they've been brainwashed into harm and tropey beliefs is exactly this) issue must be danced around and what is going on isn't really - because it makes us look mad. When it all adds up as soon as we all acknowledge what has always been known which is this grim discriminatory and refuse to correct ideas that are all to do with personality ideas that don't add up and were never to do with our health but just slighting us. And no they aren't 'rising above' in dealing with us, but being the opposite of 'holistic' by treating us with a 'talk to the hand, yer mad' attitude.
Because that is causing huge harm. Imagine being on the receiving end of trickery behaviour when you are as ill as we are and then having to dance around it 'making sense' because, whilst it makes utter sense when we all admit what is the plain case and makes it all add up, we all have to pretend. And worse it happens to be the source and cause of both the problem and without solving it and calling it and monitoring it to ensure it changes makes it impossible that the problem can be solved or that anything can change.
