Post-viral fatigue became mild ME in 1980 a few months before starting primary school.
Diagnosed 1988 when mild/moderate after deteriorating on starting secondary school.
Deteriorated to moderate/severe 2006 needing a wheelchair after starting work for the first time.
Largely housebound since 2010.
Mostly bedbound since 2019.
Each deterioration has been linked to an ongoing increase in demands on me linked to life stage, and was usually triggered by an everyday infection which took months to resolve. At each stage I have stabilised with rest, only to deteriorate again once that support was withdrawn and external demands resumed.
If I had benefitted from suitable social support and good medical care, I think I would still be mild - or even could have recovered as a child, as many do. My ME history shows what happens when that support is largely absent, and when huge social, economic and family pressure is applied to continue banging your head against a brick wall.
As my father told me last month, “You’ll regret it if you don’t try.” Um…
I regret taking up some amazing opportunities the way crash victims regret a helmet-less motorcycle ride. If I could give my four-year-old self a piece of advice it would be, “Please stop trying so hard.”