I have sympathy for Crawley around her experience as a child.
The problem is the distortion that experience caused.
My simple explanation for all that followed is this:
- My Dad loved me
- My Dad did a bad thing to me
- My Dad did a bad thing to me because he loved me
- therefore, doing bad things to others with less power is OK if done from love
This is a pattern that may of us have seen, often in women who are abused by a spouse for instance.
The only way to survive as a child was to internalise the message that arbitrary violence is a manifestation of love.
She says in her talk that she 'had to forgive him' (her father) for threatening her life.
There are giant red flags around this part of her talk, for those who know what to look for.