Feeling insecure about romantic relationships

That sounds good, @Hoopoe!

As soon as you find people you click with, it'll be irrelevant. A lot of conversations between friends are more or less content-free, just chitchat, wind-ups, anecdotes, etc.

People's lives often are surprisingly boring, not least because a lot of what they could talk about is job-related, and it's the last thing they want to fill their spare time with. I've a friend I've known for nearly 45 years, and I can confidently say that we've never had an interesting or meaningful conversation. But we can finish one another's sentences, and a single word can refer back to a whole episode that reduces us to gales of laughter. it baffles other people, as saying 'mayonnaise' or 'lavatory' isn't usually considered hysterically funny.

When you do it won't matter. It's infuriatingly annoying when people say that, but they say it because it's true.

 

Hey @Hoopoe, I simply cannot imagine you not being every bit as adorable and fascinating as you are around here out there in the big wide world.

Still I wholeheartedly believe in your pain. When I became unwell it was like being pushed off the edge from a hight. How quickly I became untrustworthy someone to persuade and coax and reprimand back into the fold. If not to be abandoned for a lost cause and a liability. I didn’t take it lying down. No forgive my whimsy, of course I absolutely did. I don’t think that much about that time but every time I do I’m left reeling it was absolutely brutal. I’m so happy for you that you’re emerging from this cruel and crushing experience, ready for better.

 

Another thing about conversation, @Hoopoe, is that everyone I've ever been close friends with talks a lot. I mean a lot.

It was never deliberate and it took me a long time to even notice it, but in part the friendships work well because I'm not naturally garrulous. I'm happy to be the quieter one and just enjoy the company and craic, whereas a more talkative person might clash with them. They basically pick up my slack, and because they often find socialising easier than me, I tend to hide behind them a bit in groups (I'm autistic and can struggle with this).

So you won't always need to be able to contribute 50% to the conversation, in friendships or intimate relationships. I can think of several long, happy marriages where one partner contributes about 10% and the other never shuts up, but that's part of what makes it a success. They both know that when the 10% person does venture an opinion on something, it's likely it matters to them.