Guardian: "Don’t listen to Gwyneth Paltrow: keep your coffee well away from your rectum"

[Mij]

Just say no.

 

[Woolie]

"Its not what it looks like, doctor. I was administering a coffee enema"

 

[MErmaid]

As long as size doesn’t matter, I’ll order a Venti latte, with a double shot of espresso.

BTW, that’s my cousin featured on the logo.

 

[Sean]

"Its not what it looks like, doctor. I was administering a coffee enema"

"I was cleaning up the bedroom in the normal healthy way – stark naked, with a lubed up turkey baster full of used coffee grounds – when I tripped over the spare gimp suit and fell backwards..."

 

[Woolie]

I've been watching Future Man, and I just learned you can shove cocaine up there too.

Maybe coffee is a gateway drug...

 

[Barry]

Don't make me stamp my foot twice in one thread! (And kindly leave my giblets out of it)

Rest assured @Luther Blissett I have no eyes for your giblets whatsoever .

 

[Justy]

King Coffey and the Butthole surfers Butthole theme song come to mind

 

[FreeSarah]

As long as size doesn’t matter, I’ll order a Venti latte, with a double shot of espresso.

View attachment 1334

You see? That’s what’s wrong with the world. I remember when Nescafe Instant was good enough for everyone’s enema. It was certainly good enough for my grandmother, though during the war she used Camp Coffee with chicory because that’s all they could get and it didn’t do her any harm. Well, not much. Now it’s all triple skinny venti cappuccinos and whatnot. I mean, there’s probably an app — whatsUp or something — to remind you it’s time for your latte enema. I bet Gwyneth has a personal rectal barista.

Actually, I’m warming to Gwyneth. Look at all the pleasure she’s giving us.

 

[MErmaid]

Actually, I’m warming to Gwyneth. Look at all the pleasure she’s giving us.

“Hands down”, I am all in for the V-Steam and G-Shot treatments. “Butt” regarding the other location, my blanket policy, just like @Mij posted, is “Just Say NO”

 

[Barry]

King Coffey and the Butthole surfers Butthole theme song come to mind

I'm beginning to wonder if I've just fallen into a wormhole

 

[Barry]

Just say no.

View attachment 1330

How many do you need?!

 

[MErmaid]

"Its not what it looks like, doctor. I was administering a coffee enema"

Alas, you solved the story of the mysterious, but sometimes comical, “butt lesions”.

 

[Little Bluestem]

King Coffey and the Butthole surfers Butthole theme song come to mind

Which begs the question "How did you come to know about this in the first place?"

 

[MErmaid]

"I was cleaning up the bedroom in the normal healthy way – stark naked, with a lubed up turkey baster full of used coffee grounds – when I tripped over the spare gimp suit and fell backwards..."

That conjured up story is almost as likely as accidentally getting pregnant from a doorknob.

 

[MErmaid]

Which begs the question "How did you come to know about this in the first place?"

As long as visuals are not required by @Justy to answer your question, I am a bit curious myself.

 

[chrisb]

No wonder we're socially isolated.

People may have the wrong impression.

After reading this, who would accept an invitation to come round for a coffee?

 

[MErmaid]

No wonder we're socially isolated.

People may have the wrong impression.

After reading this, who would accept an invitation to come round for a coffee?

Or accept an invitation for a steam bath?