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Guardian: "Don’t listen to Gwyneth Paltrow: keep your coffee well away from your rectum"

Discussion in 'Other health news and research' started by Woolie, Jan 10, 2018.

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  1. Mij

    Mij Senior Member (Voting Rights)

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    Just say no.

    corks.jpg
     
    Mij, Jan 12, 2018
    #21
    FreeSarah, Luther Blissett, Liv aka Mrs Sowester and 8 others like this.
  2. Woolie

    Woolie Senior Member

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    2,937
    "Its not what it looks like, doctor. I was administering a coffee enema"
     
    Woolie, Jan 12, 2018
    #22
    Viola, FreeSarah, Luther Blissett and 12 others like this.
  3. MErmaid

    MErmaid Guest

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    As long as size doesn’t matter, I’ll order a Venti latte, with a double shot of espresso.

    BTW, that’s my cousin featured on the logo.

    E50B4BAB-2D9A-416B-A25A-761CE27B6698.png
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2018
    MErmaid, Jan 12, 2018
    #23
    Valentijn, Little Bluestem, Viola and 11 others like this.
  4. Sean

    Sean Moderator Staff Member

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    9,089
    Location:
    Australia
    :laugh:

    "I was cleaning up the bedroom in the normal healthy way – stark naked, with a lubed up turkey baster full of used coffee grounds – when I tripped over the spare gimp suit and fell backwards..."
     
    Sean, Jan 12, 2018
    #24
    Valentijn, Little Bluestem, Luther Blissett and 8 others like this.
  5. Woolie

    Woolie Senior Member

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    I've been watching Future Man, and I just learned you can shove cocaine up there too.

    Maybe coffee is a gateway drug...
     
    Woolie, Jan 12, 2018
    #25
    Valentijn, Little Bluestem, Barry and 9 others like this.
  6. Barry

    Barry Senior Member (Voting Rights)

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    Rest assured @Luther Blissett I have no eyes for your giblets whatsoever ;).
     
    Barry, Jan 12, 2018
    #26
    Valentijn, Little Bluestem, Luther Blissett and 4 others like this.
  7. Justy

    Justy Senior Member (Voting Rights)

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    Justy, Jan 12, 2018
    #27
    Woolie, Barry, FreeSarah and 4 others like this.
  8. FreeSarah

    FreeSarah Senior Member (Voting Rights)

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    You see? That’s what’s wrong with the world. I remember when Nescafe Instant was good enough for everyone’s enema. It was certainly good enough for my grandmother, though during the war she used Camp Coffee with chicory because that’s all they could get and it didn’t do her any harm. Well, not much. Now it’s all triple skinny venti cappuccinos and whatnot. I mean, there’s probably an app — whatsUp or something — to remind you it’s time for your latte enema. I bet Gwyneth has a personal rectal barista.

    Actually, I’m warming to Gwyneth. Look at all the pleasure she’s giving us.
     
    FreeSarah, Jan 12, 2018
    #28
    Valentijn, EzzieD, Little Bluestem and 8 others like this.
  9. MErmaid

    MErmaid Guest

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    “Hands down”, I am all in for the V-Steam and G-Shot treatments. “Butt” regarding the other location, my blanket policy, just like @Mij posted, is “Just Say NO” :emoji_stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2018
    MErmaid, Jan 12, 2018
    #29
    Little Bluestem, Woolie, Mij and 3 others like this.
  10. Barry

    Barry Senior Member (Voting Rights)

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    Barry, Jan 12, 2018
    #30
    Luther Blissett, MErmaid, FreeSarah and 1 other person like this.
  11. Barry

    Barry Senior Member (Voting Rights)

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    Barry, Jan 12, 2018
    #31
    Luther Blissett, MErmaid, Woolie and 1 other person like this.
  12. MErmaid

    MErmaid Guest

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    Alas, you solved the story of the mysterious, but sometimes comical, “butt lesions”. :emoji_microscope:
     
    MErmaid, Jan 13, 2018
    #32
    Barry, Skycloud, Luther Blissett and 1 other person like this.
  13. Little Bluestem

    Little Bluestem Senior Member (Voting Rights)

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    Which begs the question "How did you come to know about this in the first place?" :rofl:
     
    Little Bluestem, Jan 13, 2018
    #33
    Barry, Luther Blissett and MErmaid like this.
  14. MErmaid

    MErmaid Guest

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    That conjured up story is almost as likely as accidentally getting pregnant from a doorknob. :emoji_pregnant_woman: :emoji_rolling_eyes:
     
    MErmaid, Jan 13, 2018
    #34
    Barry, Luther Blissett and Sean like this.
  15. MErmaid

    MErmaid Guest

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    As long as visuals are not required by @Justy to answer your question, I am a bit curious myself.
     
    MErmaid, Jan 13, 2018
    #35
    Barry, Luther Blissett and Little Bluestem like this.
  16. chrisb

    chrisb Senior Member (Voting Rights)

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    No wonder we're socially isolated.

    People may have the wrong impression.

    After reading this, who would accept an invitation to come round for a coffee?
     
    chrisb, Jan 13, 2018
    #36
    Little Bluestem, Barry and MErmaid like this.
  17. MErmaid

    MErmaid Guest

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    Or accept an invitation for a steam bath?
     
    MErmaid, Jan 13, 2018
    #37
    Little Bluestem, Barry and chrisb like this.
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