I looked at the description of the study linked in the article. It appears that the study was to explore issues of loneliness in individuals
who were moving into retirement communities. And there is an industrial partner (I believe that was the phrasing) interested in finding ways to improve the lives of people moving into such accommodations.
I don’t doubt that many of the people interviewed suffered from “existential loneliness,” as it is often the case that a move into a retirement community comes about as the result of the death of a spouse. And that event takes some years to recover from.
I, for one, think that regret over past decisions, or wondering about paths never taken, is part of being a thoughtful person; it’s certainly not unique to people of retirement age.
It is also true that, at least where I live, retirement communities and other senior housing options
are, in fact, cut off from the rest of the society. They form their own particular kind of world where social rules may be strictly enforced and where most of one’s time is spent with other elderly people.
For example, in the retirement housing where my mother lived, there was an explicit rule, coming from the director of the facility, that discussions about politics or religion were not permitted, period, whether in the privacy of your own apartment or at the dinner table at the common meal.
My mother also complained that the social interactions were more like what one would expect in high school cliques, not among intelligent adults. You, Martha, dare not sit at Claire’s place at dinner, even though Claire is absent that meal.
These kinds of social interactions, or restraints on interaction, can prevent the full expression of an individual’s identity.
If you have a religious practice, you either have to depend upon someone from your church to provide transportation to you, since most people give up their cars upon entering “retirement living,” or make do with whatever non-denominational service the chaplain provides, whether it’s your cup of tea or not.
Most forays into the wider world involve getting on a van with other old people from your retirement community and going someplace (theater, concert, art museum, e.g.) where you will sit with other old people, at a time when most other attendees are old people (think Friday morning concerts or plays). If you want to connect with children, you can go down to the daycare area and watch the children through a large glass window. How is this not disconnected from life and society?
To me, it is no wonder that the population studied here feels lonely and without a role in their lives. This is not a normal life for any adult not in need of regular nursing or memory care, and it is a situation that has come about because we don’t provide adequate supports to allow people to stay in their homes and communities. Mostly what people need is housekeeping help. People feel they aren’t part of society because, in fact, they aren’t part of society. They have removed themselves, or others have removed them, from the flow of life.
The pressure to move into some kind of senior housing is enormous. Everyone just assumes that, of course, this is what you’ll do. And go broke doing it.
Almost nobody I know has moved into retirement housing. People are staying in their own homes—-and these aren’t young people I’m talking about. They are in their 80s and 90s , still going out to their churches they’ve gone to for years (if they have a religious practice), still maintaining their neighborhood acquaintances, still making their own decisions, still playing their stereos too loud. I doubt very much that this research speaks to their condition.
Off my soapbox now.
