My spouse wants to have a friend visit at our house for a couple days. We live in a ranch home where the living space is on one floor and the size of a three bedroom apartment. The master bedroom where I spend my life is adjacent to the main living area (living, dining, kitchen). I am currently mostly bedridden and cannot be upright for more than a couple hours a day. I do not self care more than once a week. I truly look and feel like total garbage every second of the day. I can push my body to get up and do more but that results in significant ME symptom exacerbation that lasts for days or weeks afterward, especially symptoms during the night destroying any chance of sleep and compounding to make everything far worse to where I can go into full crash (cannot take people in bedroom, cannot use phone, cannot talk, cannot take any simulation). So a lot of staying in bed as much as I can is to avoid the hellscape the PEM brings. With this extreme level of pacing I have days where I can look totally normal to an ME-naive person. I said to my spouse that this would be very hard for me physically and psychologically and please not invite someone to stay at our home right now. But I’m feeling like I have to make this case which should be obvious because my spouse has been with me all 10 years of ME and seen it firsthand slowly getting worse and worse. Is it wrong for me to not want random other people to see me like this? Or to not want to feel forced to stay in the bedroom with the door closed the entire time the visitor is here? Or even worse exert to self care and look as “normal” as I can to interact for a couple hours a day knowing full well this is going to make my life worse for days or weeks afterward? My spouse’s friend doesn’t have to stay at our house and could still visit. I welcome any comments please even if you think I’m being difficult or complicated tell me. I have no idea what’s normal anymore. But since I’ve become more bedbound and less able to self-care I don’t want random people (other than my spouse and family) to see me like this. To a healthy person I would say when you are really sick with an illness like flu or something you generally don’t want people to see you in that state and hibernate at home, well with ME you are in that state every second of the day forever. It’s not social anxiety, it’s that you literally look and feel like shit on top of the fact that the higher level of exertion to interact with people that aren’t immediate family increases the chance I will crash.