Hey everyone.
Thanks again for your responses.
Tonight is my tenth night here.
The nurses are leaving me alone for the most part and some have stopped wearing perfume—I had a bad weekend last week with hours of pain, anxiety and crying and had to again very strongly advocate for myself, HR 140bpm again. They were surprised to realise that in other places there are policies against perfume and scent use.
Some still aren’t reading the file before they come in though, waking me, talking to me while taking my Bp, asking if I want the curtains open, etc.
Thankfully it’s a long weekend again, sad for me to be stuck in here for New Years, but good I’ll have a break from the doctors and scheduling. The dietician is giving me a hard time, ‘liberalise’ my diet, fair enough but she doesn’t want to wait until this crash is done back to baseline, to listen to my symptoms or to leave gaps in between introducing things. Doesn’t make me feel overly confident, feels like she’s just meeting a quota rather than actually helping me.
I have trouble posting on here as the formatting isn’t great for my phone. Those who’ve said that it’s progress, yes it is. The single room and the blind down, with the nurses using torches, cleaning with water only during manageable hours, it’s all great. The only thing still driving me crazy is the sound and feel of the air conditioning. Even through silicone putty ear plugs and industrial ear muffs.
I am still stabilising despite everything though, mainly cos of how strict and stubbornly I’m pacing, sleeping when I can. HR is improving every day, including during sleep. Just psychologically starting to feel a bit trapped and lonely. Miss my cat.
We’ll know more on tues/weds when the relevant department reopens. My birthday is the 10th so I’m praying for a small miracle.