Why use Forget Me Not as a symbol for ME?

MittEremltage

MittEremltage

Senior Member (Voting Rights)
Swedish patientorganisation RME uses the flower forget me not as their symbol this International ME-day. What is the international history for this choise? Anyone knows?

Their explanation (Google translated):

”Forget me not (Forget ME not) has historically symbolized a lost loved one, and therefore has become an international symbol for the disease ME. It represents everyone who is missing by their friends and family. Those who are missing out in working life and those who miss their former Self. And all those who miss the sick!”



I personally gets seriously triggered by this because I think it sounds like we are already dead. I am not dead. I refuse to be looked at as a lost person who everybody are missing (including myself). I am alive and my life matters even if I am not as visible as before. A dead person has no needs, no will of his own and no voice. But I have. I don’t want to be missed. Why should you care about how I feel if you consider me dead?

People with ME: How do you feel about this?
 
I can see the problem for those who see the forget me not being directly associated with people who have died.

I don't personally have that association, so for me the more general idea of people not being able to be part of society in the way they want to, and the social isolation imposed by severe illness combined with gaslighting by those around us, is a powerful message similar to the Millions Missing slogan. They can both encapsulate enforced physical, social and emotional isolation experienced by a lot of pwME, and the feeling some of us are left with of being forgotten.
And I like the flower.

I'm sorry it doesn't work for you @MittEremltage. I can see that makes its use difficult for you.
 
I think the explanation needs rewording. I chanced upon this yesterday for the first time, during the World ME Day campaign, as the ME Belgium symbol and was very curious but when I read the reason, I felt repulsed and thought it was not pwME-centred. I also immediately thought of death or pwME as people you get in touch with from time to time and then ignore.

I guess the flower has cultural meaning within Europe (suggests the language of flowers?) and designed for the charity to get support and donations.

We have a native Chatham Island Forget Me Not - it is very hardy with larger flowers, bright blue and beautiful.
 
MittEremltage said:
I personally gets seriously triggered by this because I think it sounds like we are already dead. I am not dead. I refuse to be looked at as a lost person who everybody are missing (including myself). I am alive and my life matters even if I am not as visible as before. A dead person has no needs, no will of his own and no voice. But I have. I don’t want to be missed. Why should you care about how I feel if you consider me dead?

People with ME: How do you feel about this?
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I've never associated 'forget me nots' with death. I have always felt that it represented quite well how PwME can be so ill and hidden away in their bedrooms, homes and forgotten about. So, forget me nots are a reminder not to forget about PwME.
 
I also associate flowers with death, although this is not specific for forget-me-nots. Probably a bit colored by growing up around people who had the view flowers were for funerals, and especially old people who would exclaim "I'm not dead yet!". Also stories about old people who would get sent flowers by relatives who never had time to visit, and how this was not always seen as a nice gesture but more of a penance thing.

I do enjoy how forget-me-nots look though, we had them in our garden growing up.

Edit: Since there might be a cultural aspect to this, I'm also from Scandinavia.
 
Lots of dubious 'origins' of the name around. https://www.etymonline.com/word/forget-me-not

"the flowering plant (Myosotis palustris), 1530s, translating Old French ne m'oubliez mye; in 15c. the flower was supposed to ensure that those wearing it should never be forgotten by their lovers. Similar loan-translations took the name into other languages: German Vergißmeinnicht, Swedish förgätmigej, Hungarian nefelejcs, Czech nezabudka."

In gardening terms the name fits because the common annual and biannual forms seed so readily that once you've got them in the garden - you can never bloody well forget them.

I think advocacy emblems are now largely irrelevant - they were vital in pre electronic media days, when they provided a memory hook, prime example being Royal British Legion's 'red poppy' but imaging and message can be consistently refreshed on this medium and novelty used in much more directed ways meaning memory associations are far less important. Branding is important but if you are not asking people to have loyalty to a particular variety of baked beans or political party then imagery and symbols can be endlessly varied to match the message.
 
Forget me knots are beautiful and cute name. But I think where they are associated with death in certain areas culturally or spoken about as if they are by ME charities as @MittEremltage has pointed out that requires thought. That requires consideration.

I associate them most strongly with a love token to be given to a beloved as you part from them. This is how they were first explained to me as a child.
 
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